egosyntonic haikus
July 27, 2006.
magic word: rain
Facsist Robert Guard
Cares not as long as he wins
Hail Hail Robert Guard
"Robert all the time!
Robert all the time!"
The crowd sang in enthusiastic harmony.
The chanting was infectious,
And the image of Robert became idolized.
His face adorned dice
In high stakes games.
He grew heedy with the thrumming chords,
Of the masses shouting,
Moaning,
And gyrating to the words,
"Robert all the time!
Robert all the time!"
Here, Here! Robert Guard!
What a bitch that fascist fuck
I just roll my eyes
This is to the pair Dave and Dan,
Whose pipes have been broken and canned.
Many apologies given,
And now I've been driven,
To sacrifice my crooked pipe, man.
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Heather prays for rain
And then his asshole accepts
Bunnies for presents
Round in a circle they stood
Tightly they gripped their manhood
They grinned and they jerked
Lucky Pierre lurked
Taking his time when he could
Dave gets excited
His cock throbs for bukkake
The laptop has moved
AMPAPs on the mind
It's 185
The record that is
Calendars must be
Multicultural
To force perspective
I got my hair done
And then it started raining
Oh my God it sucked
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July 13, 2006.
magic word: chronic
Charlie Brown just sneaked
His manhood down Dana's throat
And it's Ben's turn next
Dave is weird and loves
it cause he thinks its the shit.
Original Jerk!
It's isn't Christmas
Tom feels like masturbating
And smoking chronic
Smoke surrounds Aaron
Inhaling deep of chronic
He worships Sonic
Tis the time today
To feast and smoke some chronic
I'll wash the dishes
Charlie Brown fucks Dave
But if feels disappointing
As if it's contrived
Despite his protests
Oliver fucked Charlie Brown
Then Charlie Brown cried
Rob's sad and alone
Molested by Charlie Brown
Oliver's revenge
It's all in your mind
Don't blame him he failed English
Aaron feels whacked out
Chronic like Aaron is
His birthday is when I think
June sixteenth it is
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Dana is true cool
But is way too pouty... God!
Aaron loves her style
Smoke Aaron, please smoke
We are lost without chronic
He smokes all the time
Oliver's pastime:
Falling soundly asleep to
Amy Grant CDs
Chronic words we write
Aaron sits and stares at us
He is so quiet
Dave falling asleep
Limericks don't do the trick
Too many damned rules
Chronic hippie beef
Quesadilla by the reef
Rots away my teef
I love the chronic
It envelopes me in smoke
Aaron is jealous
The chronic is good
I like food cause jews are good
But Aaron is a jew
Tom jiggled his pooch
While listening to La Bouche
Squatting on a douch
Oliver, this bitch
Suck dick bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
Get out bitch bitch bitch
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June 29, 2006.
magic word: crying
I'll list your failures
At the very top of your
Obituary
I will always watch
Watch and rub one out today
I am crying now
Your body writhes and
Spasms up against my own
Your moan makes me cum
Limping and crying
You traverse the land of fuck
My life the shitbath
You thought you were cool
Got ripped off by a hooker
Then dropped out of school
Over your still corpse
I deliver a heartfelt
Chuckle of my glee
Tears roll down his cheeks
That ugly talking monkey
Only says, "Ficus"
Dana cheats again
She makes me cry and giggle
That fucking cardwhore
Forgive me Wornhul
I cry because I've hurt you
Please, please be my friend
I am sucked into
The gates of Oblivion
Gucci can't help drool
I'm very salty
Saltiness as a result
Of sweating out tears
Cackling and leaping
Find the gold in the rainbow
Trample that smug smile
Your pink is real hot
My pink is quite very large
Both our pinks make black
As it would turn out
Size will always still matter
Shallow Oh! Not so.
Simplify and die
It's ego dissolution
A new perspective
I love everyone
Sometimes I love too much
But it is O.K.
Stalk him I know cause
Jesus would say no and what
Does he know Jesus?
I crawl through the walls
Annihilating, crying
Crushing every dream
Got a tuxedo
Cause I wanna shit her with
My pink torpedo
Tom-cat is so mad
Enraged with digital Jak
He cries, huffs and puffs
I'm an infection
In the cure of your being
So just deal with it
At times Rob will weep
When Tom will not stroke his thigh
Their love's eternal
Tom bends over, blinks
Dana takes out his dildo
His wet lips tremble
Tired of some shit?
I'll just start a hater's club
I won't let you join
Dana and Tom's sex
Life has a lot to do with
Pretending I'm there
Tom cannot repress
His lusty feelings for Dave
Wet tongue in Dave's ear
Crying is awesome
I'm sitting in a corner
Banging head on wall
Fix it fix it Tom
I refuse. I say, "No... you!"
I will always be
You have to move on
You can't lick my coarse butthole
My killer was black
It's all a facade
Nothing feels like the damn truth
Words become empty
Verbally beaten
A shell of what was once true
Tearfully cringing
I can remember
Talking to you in my room
Over and over
Focus on the crying
Focus hard while crying long
Crying makes me hard
Tears run down my cheeks
How I try to forget you
But I never will
Crying, ashamed man
Sob little bitch, I laugh now!
While you smear your shit
Drink from the toilet
Dave is standing there ... watching
Smiling and jerking
Tom likes his ass licked
It makes him feel like a God
Alpha, Omega
Fecal fun is good
It's great that it exists 'cause
Intercourse is hell
I die, I die now
I have been forgotten now
I cry, I cry now
My butthole itches
No matter how much I scratch
It bleeds and I cry
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I cry in the dark
Sobbing, rocking and weeping
Give me a tissue
Shake violently
Alone, alone in the dark
I talk to myself
Can't say thesaurus?
It's because your tongue's swollen
That's from eating shit
Dana is pretty
She had her hair done today
It looks very good
I am not wicked
I just always like to gloat
Hear my voice and cry
Dana is helpful
Excited with converter
She can't help crying
Don't bother hiding
What I can't steal I'll destroy
Recycle your soul
That went in my eye
Aim you jerk, it burns badly
Crying so madly
These boys do not know
Swallowing is cleanly so
Remember and gulp
Beaten down I sob
Biting words are so careless
With you I just cry
Oblivion sucks
It sucks so much I hate it
Oliver must die
Dana is dirty
But she is always precious
I love cake a lot
The processor's fried
You should come and see my house
A graveyard of shit
Dave sits there alone
With tears streaming down his face
Fearfully, he sleeps
Haiku PHD
Just deal with his attitude
Mean Dave the hater
After I found you
I sit alone with Harry
Crying in my soup
Fuck the USB
It's stupid, I won't use it
Whatever Dana says
Whore filthy whore boy
Remind me who I am now
You are a stalker
Cry and always think
Of false ends and bleary hopes
Will it ever be?
Why can't you see me?
I have a piece of your brain
In my sake cup
You slinked on over
Spat on my chicken sandwich
Here's your magazine
Dave's Hobbystalker
Motivated by ankles
Was the very best
Space is running out
Tom tries to touch my eyebrows
He's sulking, whining
Stroke me while weeping
Your misery I control
Cry you big ape, cry!
Golf, stalking, crying
Magick Haiku mania
It's therapeutic
Capture Lex Luther
The bottle says to do so
Heroes are pussies
Fester means to rot
You must focus on the meat
Otherwise you'll die
Tool Tool Dave's a tool
Danny Danny is my boy
Dave really loves drums
We write every week
Slaves to the awesome haiku
X-box will slay it
Clumps of shit falling
I laugh maniacally
I can't get enough
Dana wants to watch
Me fuck Tom's dirty asshole
Dave strongly objects
Show me the raisin
Silly little boy Kimmy
I will steal your watch
Shaft looks like Heather
Little black creatures who have
Cute white chest patches
Life constipation?
Stop your fucking crying, bitch
You're made to suffer
I share my B.M.
With the creator now
He was the mark
I do adore cake
Even more than cold ice cream
Sometimes it tastes odd
Cake does consume me
That's the way that I like it
I think it's kinky
Why is it so cruel?
It has now become your sport
To now destroy me
Trying and trying
The USB will not fit
"Shit-fuck!" I exclaim
It's getting real cramped
I'm running out of space now
Give me more paper
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June 21, 2006.
magic word: stalking.
I am so shifty
I hate godamned fucking whores
Die bithes, just die
Rob likes his prostate
To be tickled by feathers
Held by sweet Heater
Suck suck go to hell
Go to hell, go to hell, bitch
Stalky stalk stalk stalk
I firmly believe
Damnable, dirty, lil' sluts
Should disappear now
I always feel bad
Stalking makes me feel happy
I feel great always
Sneaking in the dark
Allison Krauser just cries
Sigh ... I watch you change
I am just that star
Up in the shining black sky
Fuck all of you up
Chatter will abound
Senseless noise to the masses
Won't you be silent?
Camera says, "Click."
I say, "Fuck you, cheating prick!"
Thankyou, Stalker's Club
Dana took a shit
I will never forget it
It's really healthy
Yellow urine arcs
Into the shadowy dark
All over your face
The girl will screw you
That's my guaran-fucking-tee
So lay back, relax.
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I don't remember
Shiny, shiny distracting
Stop peeing on me
Wanna pee outside?
Go ahead! It's really cool!
I'll watch you, okay?
To Hate or Not to?
This question I ask myself
I'm too drunk to hate!
In the brush I wait
Yearning to catch one small glance
Your image is mine
I stick my pussy
Oh, and my asshole as well
Up against your nose
I hail from Japan
I am Angrogynous Man
I hope you feel safe
Judges smoking weed
Hey bitch, check out my urine!
Hey, it's on your face!
just 1 character
in Gucci's Dead or Alive
my name is Gucci
Sneaking in the dark
My obssession firmly stark
Hobbystalking lives.
Whoa! Hobbystalkers!
That's so fucking cool man! Shit!
Where's my camera?
I do not hate bitch
You're a fucking idiot
Hey, let's play some golf
Stop peeing on me
I don't like that very much
Is that an Ipod?
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June 14, 2006.
magic word: golf.
Obssession goes far
For a glimpse of those ankles
The world held in awe
I hate that damn cheat
But worst is the piece of meat
That has me beat sweet
"JUICE!" hollers the crowd
King, Queen and Jack will lynch you
Say Juice now or die
Drool while you dice filth
All day you eat shit and trash
Shit is also trash
Haiku mania
Takes complete control of me
I shake and vomit
The time has now come
Feel oblivion's power
Come Gucci submit
Dice Dice Dice and Dice
Every Dice is Nice, Dice
Dice Dice Dice Trash Dice
My trashy pussy
Is soiled from hard work/pleasure
I'm forever rich
Jacks are wild; übercool
I wish I'd veto that rule
And remember Juice
I flip one more "2"
Satisfy my cheating hand
Me Cheat? Never man!
Contracted a rash
You self-serving, righteous gash
Your mouth's full of trash
Show me the devil
I'll come inside you sickly
For the end of you
Less I have no words
Cover my soul in garbage
I'll always wear socks
Dave come smoke with me
Partake in my tobacco
Smoke with me always
A successfull pull
Force it kindly upon me
Please ignore my cries
Worship me, enthralled
Press buttons feed my pleasure
To X-box I give
Tom's apology
The rental agreement soiled
And Dave forgives him
Tensions run higher
Shifty Hubaba scowls wide
And feeds Lifestyle cards
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Tank's not here to play
She's too timid anyway
She will play again
Kindly my mustache
Come inside for little Jack
I will make you snap
Quick Tom! Hold Dave down!
Those socks are coming off now!
I've waited all week.
Dan's dungeon is dark
But his love is rather pure
Beloved X-Box
"Gankle!" we all chant
Dave says, "Don't take off my socks!"
Disregard his words.
Soft, pillowy socks
Reveal alabaster skin
This gankle lust grows
From a cloud of lust
We awaken as ashamed men
Gankle thoughts linger
Pieces of paper
Let us write words of dice
Never forget dice
Queens rule us all now
Don't forget that they cancel
They give us all points
Cry when Wornhul cries
Behold! Those ankles lay bear!
He waits in his room
The wind whistles,"Golf"
Hesitant desires run free
Pick a card and drool
Shifty, shady Jin
Makes me feel serene and slim
Takes me on a ride
God like I, plays Golf
But never Ralph. And we ever since
Never coincidence
Dark, dead, decadent,
Bent and bleeding, believing
I will win at Golf
Golf, Golf, Crazy Golf
Where are the dice to play with
Makes me so horny
The faces he makes
Stuff Dave into a hot hole
I'm getting anxious
Let's take time spitting
Into eachother's faces
Videotape it
Tuki, Tank and Jin
Let Wornhul and Heather win
All while Brad cringes
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